The Onix Cafe Rules

Last year we sponsored Daniel Patten who is best friends and training partner to Alex Dowsett of Team Sky fame.
I had a facebook conversation with Alex where it revealed much to my surprise that we DO actually have something in common where cycling is concerned....Our Love Of Cafe Stops :-)


Alex then explained that there are rules that have to be obeyed and outlined them to me.
Cafe stops are an integral part of Onix rides and a encyclopaedic knowledge of good cake has been built up over many years.
With Alex's consent we have adopted these rules as our own.


So here they are The Onix Cafe Rules and THEY HAVE TO BE OBEYED.....No ifs, buts or maybes !!!
The Rules Are The Rules !!


Cafe Rule No 1.

Cafe may not be entered until over 50% of the ride is completed.










Cafe Rule No 2

If the total duration of the ride is more than 4hrs one may have any cake they desire i.e caramel slice

Cafe Rule No 3.

Less than 4hrs then one may only have a healthy sounding
cake i.e. Date & oat slice, carrot cake etc

Cafe Rule No 4.

1 cake per stop

Cafe Rule No 5.

No more than 2 coffee's per stop

Cafe Rule No 6. 

Jerseys maybe unzipped but not removed.
Gillets r excluded
If jersey is removed then bibs much b de-shouldered.

Cafe Rule No7. 

No helmets on the table!!






Cafe Rule No 8.

Ordering just a glass of water or just a coke is frowned upon but not 

forbidden

Cafe Rule No 9.

Never talk about the calories in the cake, only the calories 

you've burnt on the ride

Cafe Rule No 10.

Never order an espresso in the UK, you will get less filter coffee for the 

same price.








Cafe Rule No 11. 

Never sit on cloth seats if u can help it *exc pre breakfast ride cafe stops when1 is consuming breakfast








There Endeth The Lesson !!